Ya know, im trying to use my computer and facebook, tumblr, and twitter less.
I want to work out more, become physically fit. Be able to takr advantage of my youth. Ive spent far too many years on my computer. I doubt ill be like, some crazy fit health freak and all that. I just dont want to look back and think about how i wasted away my time looking at pictures of places on a screen instead of trying to see it in person.
I always worry about cash.. i have been for years… And I know cash will always be a bother to me.. but I dont want that to stop me from exploring and being young.. i havent really been a teen. I never did anything crazy.. the craziest thing i did was walk out of the school with a bro one day. Like… Im dont want to be some crazy young adult. I think i just need to enjoy myself and not place so much pressure on myself.. Hell, i moved out because i felt like such a financial burden. (Not the main reason why, but I hate thinking that my parents still pay for my brothers and I. And o didnt want to be someone who took their money too.)
Im going to enjoy the time i have here.. go out more, not spend all my time kn computers. Hopefully. Then again, midnight motivation is always a let down when you wake up ans its gone..
Kind of a random post..
God damn.. i.. i really miss Hannah though.. I just want to wrap my arms around her and stay like that for a while.. Just to have her next to me.. ugh.. so excited to hang with her again too.. I hope that she will always be in my life, there isnt anyone like her.
Walked into the living room planning to sit with my roommates and watch some TV but when I go out there no one acknowledged me and didn’t talk when I said Hey. And I didn’t want to ask Carl to move over, since he is laying on the couch taking up the whole thing like he always does. So I didn’t have a spot to sit. Since no one replied I kind of make an awkward motion into the kitchen and grabbed a Vit. C pill so it didn’t look like I went out there to hang with them. Right when I enter my room I hear them all laughing and talking. Makes me wonder if I’ve done anything to upset them… Nothing comes to mind, I keep to myself and I don’t talk behind anyone’s back . . That’s kind of a lie, I vent to Hannah sometimes.
Dunno, makes me feel like they don’t like me. Guess I’ll stay in my room for the rest of the night. Ha… Whatever.
the one thing I need to remember is to keep running and continue to work out on occasion.
Trying to learn Spray Paint Art … Ya’ know, the Space Scenes? Yeah, It’s cool.
Im going to put $75-100 into my savings account each paycheck for nezt year.
Man, next year will be a hassle for money… I have to pay all my bills, like im doing now.. but ill be in school too.. i really dont want to be working 32 hours a week to live in poverty while attending college… I wish my family had money saved up for this.. oh well.. gotta make the cards ive been delt work..
But it also sucks because i feel guilty as fuck when i spend money. Because i need to save it for next year too… But i dont want to starve myself or be sad all the time because i dont go out.. /:
Got dat cash money
The understanding of how expensive food is. It’s finally hitting me hard. Haha, Just like.. I went out with my friends last night for some food at a sports bar type place. I ordered a pound of Chicken Wings and a beer. The total came to $20.. (Including tip) Which, to some people $20 is nothing for a nights out for food. But all I could think about is how I could have gotten 20 packs of spaghetti-o’s. Haha, or how far that $20 could have lasted me in a normal situation for household foods.. But I used it for eating out for a little over an hour.. It just doesn’t seem worth it in that perspective.. Ya’ know? Oh well.. I’m going to try to limit myself to eating out 2 times a month. Haha, I know it’s not a lot. But damn, I could eat much better and healthier every day instead of going out to eat weekly.. So that’s a thing.. Money is a bitch, ya dig.
I.. I want a smoke. I guess that’s an addiction too. It’s.. Relaxing I suppose. I love having a cigarette or cigar-ette when I’m listening to music.. Or reading.. I make connections much easier and I feel a lot more emotions. I really enjoy that. Like, relative emotions and such. When I smoke weed and listen to music my thoughts are too far out to be relevant. Which when I do that I mainly try to understand how the universe works. Which is interesting. But yeah.. It’s… I could go for a pack of cigarettes.. or Remington Good Times. I’d rather have a pack of those. Haha. Ugh, why does smoking have to be so unhealthy.. I wonder if E-cigs could create that kind of buzz that I appreciate so much when reading or listening to music? Hmm..